From Ken Barlow! THIS is the ultimate WACKY story and something I know we've ALL heard, in one form or another! Ken finally "clears the air" !
The sight is terrific and my personal thanks to you for all the work. I am thoroughly enjoying it!
I do want to "clear the air" about the "Mike Cooley shitting all over the station story" since I was the person who actually had to deal with it.
It was a Friday night in 1979. I was on the air doing my usual thing...talking nasty, trying to pick up girls on the request lines, running contests and sometimes even paying attention to my show. Mike Cooley was in the WIXY studio running the board for a sports event. I had to go to the bathroom and since it was upstairs and the trip couldn't be justified by a three minute song I put on Free Bird and set out on my journey. I expected a normal trip to the bathroom....but little did I know the HORROR THAT AWAITED ME!
I began my trek up the stairs and noticed a rather odd smell...not particularly pleasing to the nostrils. I thought a mouse had died in the walls of the building. As I continued up the stairs I noticed a brown "stain" along the side of the wall where the hand railing was. It looked liked someone had taken a tootsie roll, melted it and smeared it along the wall. I began to get very suspicious.
I reached the top of the stairs and proceeded into the bathroom. It was dark so I found the light switch and shed some light on the subject. The light came on and in front of me appeared a bathroom covered in shit!! It was all over the OUTSIDE of the toilet including the rim and cover, it extended to the sink where it covered the faucet handles and, God knows how, there was even some on the floor. One thing suddenly popped into my brain from somewhere deep within................................. MIKE COOLEY!
I rushed out of the bathroom in an attempt to avoid major hurling and proceeded back downstairs....as far to the right-hand side of the stairs as possible to avoid the railing and the wall stain that went with it! I looked into the WIXY studio through the glass and saw a shit-stained hands and clothing Mike Cooley sitting at the WIXY board running the game. I then looked at the board...oh my Gawd....that's covered in shit too!!!
I run back into my studio...lock both doors...after all, I don't want the shit to find me...and call Mike on the intercom. "Mike"...I say....."there's shit all over the building....what happened"???? Mike Cooley, in his cool way simple says...."I think I had an accident"!! An accident I think to myself? This isn't just an accident...this is a catastrophe. Yet, even as this crisis is swirling all around me an answer cuts through the brain....call Maureen our Office Manager...she'll know what to do. It's approximately 9:45pm and I dial the number.
Maureen answers and I make small talk for a bit and then the big statement..."Mo, I don't know how to tell you this, but Mike Cooley just shit on the building!" She is bewildered and says...."You mean he's putting it down?" She didn't get it. I finally have to tell her....."No, I mean Mike just literally SHIT all over the building!!!" I'm sure all of the normal questions popped into her mind but she was much too much of a pro to comment on them...a curt "I'll get back to you" and then a hangup.
5 minutes later the hotline rings and it's Mike Schwartz, co-owner of the station. No pleasantries, no small talk...he cuts right to the chase. "I understand we have a situation" he says. A situation? "We have a station full of shit"....I blurt out! 10 seconds of silence...and then...."Well, I'll be down to clean it up". What? The station owner is coming down to clean it up? What does Mike Cooley's father...who is a judge...have on these guys anyway? Doesn't matter...better him than me...which I thought would probably be his next sentence. I had already decided NO WAY,,,,station loyalty, a weekly paycheck and watching the Big Tuna drink fribbles only goes so far!
I barricade myself in the studio....turn up the air conditioner....and hope the night ends soon. Rick Kelly shows up to work the all-night shift and he too, is confronted by the remnants of Mike Cooley. His first comment...."ain't no way I'm cleaning this up"!! Touche, Rick.
My shift was over at Midnight...I sneak out of the station...past the WIXY studio where Cooley is still covered...up the stairs (this time all the way to the left!)...I go by the....room......where the light is still on and the evidence is starting to harden. The funny thing is...I never remember a smell after my first trip up the stairs.
That's a radio story many people find hard to top...the story of a man named Mike Cooley and his bowels. Remembered by many as the night Mike Cooley laid to "waste" WACKY 102.
Chris, this story is probably the most legendary from the WACKY days and I would be honred for you to include it on your site. There has been much talk and many rumors but this is the real deal...from the man who lived through it.